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Leaving Social Media

woman typing on laptop

I took my first social media detox in November 2018. I decided to take a break for 30 days. It felt amazing and I learned a lot about myself and my use of social media. I returned to social media, as planned, determined to take the lessons I learned from the detox to mindfully interact with Facebook and Instagram. I had the very best intentions.

By May 2019, all my good intentions were forgotten and I found I was back to a place where social media was affecting me negatively. I promised myself that I would get back on track. (You know where this is going, right?)

Before long, I was back to what I perceived as an unhealthy relationship with Instagram and Facebook. Something needed to change. The pandemic hit. I used it as an excuse to stay 'connected'. Instead of feeling connected, I watched in horror as people tore each other apart online, saying things they would never to say to one another if they were face to face. 

In September 2020, I deleted my business page and told my personal "Friends" that I was drastically reducing my time on Facebook. I gave them a couple of ways to stay in touch with me, some responded, some didn't. This wasn't a detox and I didn't feel the need to write any articles or long posts about why I was leaving. It was just time. I deactivated my Facebook account.

When I left Facebook, I somehow convinced myself that I could still use Instagram mindfully. But honestly, I was losing my interest in any social media and made my last IG post on July 8, 2021. Again, this was done fairly silently-no fanfare or loud proclamations. I just stopped posting. I haven't participated in social media since.

I find it interesting that my exit didn't "stick" until I stopped making a big deal about leaving social media. When I detoxed previously, I felt I owed it to my friends and followers to let them know I was leaving. I also thought I would be more likely to stick to leaving if I announced my intentions in public. I was wrong on both accounts.

Honestly, I don't think anyone really missed my posts so telling them I was leaving was pointless. I don't mean for that to sound sad. There's just so much else out there for people to look at it that not seeing my feed wouldn't make a big difference to them. I'm as guilty of that as anyone else. When I used social media, I didn't notice if one of the accounts I regularly followed stopped posting.

And as for the accountability, I think that was a lie I was telling myself. If I came back from a social media detox on day 7 instead of day 30, no one would scold me because nobody was counting the days except me. It wasn't until I came to a peaceful conclusion about leaving social media for myself, and realizing that I didn't need anyone else to know, that I knew I was truly ready to make an exit.

So why am sharing all this now? Mainly, it's because I recently read this article by Gwenn Seemel about how 8 artists left Facebook and Instagram and thrived. Reading that article, gave me so much hope for all of us-that we can gracefully transition our businesses to a marketing plan that brings us more joy and connection. We can still make new, virtual friends and stay in touch with old ones. I loved seeing all their thoughts about their experience. I felt called to share not only because of the article, but also tell you the story of my exit. I'm not here tell you to quit social media-that's a personal decision. I'm here to tell you the ways my life has changed, mostly for the better, as a result of my decision to make a change in my life.

The story I want to share with you isn't really about closing my social media accounts. It's about my desire to change my life. To look at what isn't working for me and find new ways to do things. It's about being brave enough to go against the norm and find my own path. I loved reading all the artists' stories in Gwenn's article because they made me feel hopeful and I hope my story might do the same for one of you out there.

This is going to be bit of a long story and I know you don't have a lot of time, so I'm going to break the story up over a few posts. I hope you will take your time reading each post. Click on all those links. Go to your journal and think about what you learned, what the posts and articles bring up inside you. The lessons might not have anything to do with social media, but I'm hoping you might find some inspiration for finding your own path in some area of your life. Let me know what's coming up for you in the comments below and thanks for reading my story.

 Read more of the story....

How to Stay Friends Without Social Media 

Marketing Your Business Without Social Media

 

 



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Comments

  1. C. Jane ReidFebruary 16, 2022 at 7:24 AM

    Lovely and inspirational! I have pulled back drastically from social media myself. I'm no longer on Instagram, though I haven't deleted it. I just don't go on. I'm on Facebook still, but I've "unfollowed" all the"friends" except a handful of old but long-distant friends who I otherwise wouldn't be able to engage with. I don't have either app on my phone anymore, so it's extra steps to even get in the site. Even still on Facebook, I rarely post anything but share funny and pretty memes and pictures. That does make me happy and oddly mindful.

    Thank you for the link. I treat nearly all of the artists' posts and they were quite enlightening.

    Carissa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura BrayFebruary 16, 2022 at 11:13 AM

      Thanks Carissa! I thought all the artists were thoughtful and had some really great ideas for running a business without social media. Sounds like you have a good solution for your needs!

      Delete
  2. MichelleFebruary 16, 2022 at 12:37 PM

    Thank you for sharing your story! I love the fact that artists are waking up to the harmful effects of social media and finding their own way. Deleting my social media art accounts has improved my well-being and made my art process so much more joyful. I look forward to your next posts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura BrayFebruary 17, 2022 at 12:22 PM

      It's great to hear that your decision made you so joyful.

      Delete
  3. KarenLRFebruary 16, 2022 at 2:36 PM

    Thanks Laura, for this thoughtful post. I left Facebook just before the 2016 presidential election as a self preservation measure and never looked back. I left Instagram and Amazon in January of this year because I no longer felt comfortable using platforms that filled the pockets of the billionaires. It's been very empowering for so many reasons...but mostly I feel like my integrity has integrity :-) It's been fascinating to see how people are becoming more introspective as the pandemic rolls on and perhaps this is one of the (overly used) "silver linings" . I look forward to reading your future posts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura BrayFebruary 17, 2022 at 12:24 PM

      I am planning to delete IG soon (I just need to find my password! Ha!) and gosh, I've been mulling the whole Amazon thing myself. I'm impressed with your integrity!

      Delete
  4. Aleta JacobsonFebruary 16, 2022 at 3:55 PM

    I thank you and am/have cut back a lot on social media. I would let go of my facebook accounts. Yes accounts. Because I am either in charge of some sales groups or because I have my artists account I can't get rid of facebook. I've been playing with IG for a long time and it is a love hate thing. I try not to get sucked in but like you said it just happens. I did 2 posts today and found out how to make Reels so I did one of those. I found that after I posted them I kept going back to see if anyone saw them. Yes they did but how it would help my business I have no clue. So what to do?
    You are exactly right with social media creating more anxiety for some of us. If it doesn't make anxiety I see that it is a big time waster. Just the posts alone take time if you want to be thoughtful. Then the checking and checking hoping to make some sale or create some more business, makes me crazy.
    Anyway, I do feel a lot better when I am not on social media for days. Connecting on a more personal level is better. Thank you again for a great post to make me really think what am I doing. ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura BrayFebruary 17, 2022 at 12:26 PM

      I think the trick is figuring out what works best for you and your business (if you have one). I'm glad to hear my post is helping you think about the best plan of action for you!

      Delete
  5. Anne ButeraFebruary 19, 2022 at 9:49 AM

    Always interesting to read other artists' takes on social media. And the choices artists make to change their lives. To live with more authenticity and nurture their creativity in their own ways. So often we're convinced we have to do things someone else's way and it's not true.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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    Replies
    1. Laura BrayFebruary 22, 2022 at 9:45 AM

      I wholeheartedly agree Anne! I think artists and writers are some of the most intentional people I know and I love how they find creative solutions to issues that affect them. You are definitely someone who inspires me with your thoughts on life and creating.

      Delete

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