Those of you who have been with me since the beginning, the ones who have watched me go from mixed media art to craft design to watercolor to embroidery, may wonder if I have abandoned all visual art.
I haven’t. I just stopped sharing it.
At first, my lack of sharing came from a place of hurt and vulnerability. All those years I spent trying to make a business from my visual art came to nothing. Although I wrote bravely about closing Laura Bray Designs, it felt like a profound and humbling blow. My creativity teetered.
Then something amazing happened. I began to create just for the sake of creating. Now I sit down at least once a week and make art just for pure pleasure. There is no wondering if it will sell. There is no rushing because I need to put something pretty to look at on my Instagram feed.
I just create.
I make mistakes. A lot of mistakes.
I create the same thing repeatedly until I land in a place of complete originality. This is easier now that I am no longer scrolling and being influenced by other’s work. Ideas are 100% mine. There is no comparison.
That’s not to say that I don’t look at art. I do. I visit creative blogs, take online classes, and watch YouTube videos. But this is a much smaller amount of influence than the hundreds of images I was looking at daily when I was on social media. All those images would cause me to freeze up. I would not only waste time, looking at everyone else’s creative output, but also overwhelm myself. I would sign-off from a scrolling session feeling too exhausted to go into my own studio and work.
I have discovered that limiting my exposure to other artists’ creativity inspires me. I don’t waste time. I am intentional about what I see. “Ah!”, I say to myself, “I will go visit Sandi Hester’s YouTube channel and watch an episode of her Studio Vlog while I eat my breakfast.” When the video is over, I rinse my dishes and head into my studio, feeling the tingle of creativity. Thanks to Sandi, I have an idea for a new way to work that I want to try out.
Do you see that subtle difference? I don’t go into the studio thinking I want to paint something that looks like Sandi's work. Instead, I go into the studio and apply her creative process to one of my current embroidery projects. The comparison is diffused. I think this is the way we were supposed to use technology to inspire each other. We just got lost along the way.
I have also learned to make time for my creativity. It is no longer a JOB, so I no longer berate myself for not working on my art 40 hours a week. (Which never happened.) Instead, like my writing days, I have an online art date with my friend, Heather Vo, every Friday from 10am to 12pm. It runs the same way my writing dates run, with 15 minutes of chatting and 45 of working. We do two rounds. We are both better for it in the end.
I no longer share the stages of my work either. I hold the ideas and iterations close to my heart. They are private. When I would hurriedly share an idea, before it was finished evolving, I would end up abandoning it too soon. Critical feedback would hurt the process as would positive feedback. One way or another, I would think that it was either an unsuccessful piece of work or that it was finished. I would abandon it, never pushing it past the ugly duckling stage. I would call it finished when I could have pushed it from good to great.
When I was younger my mother used to tell me what other people thought of me was none of my business. That’s proven to be true in life and art. Now that I have tuned out the other voices, my work is more original, and the creative process is more satisfying that it has ever been.
I think this serves me well, this lesson in focusing on myself above looking for outside validation. I won’t say it’s easy, but my private, weekly practice has certainly helped.
Tell me, if you could only look for inspiration from three other people, who would you choose? Share in the comments and then do a little experiment: Spend a week only looking at the three resources you listed. I would be interested to hear how this experiment affects your creative process so be sure to let me know!
Laura, this post has touched me and made me think about things so much. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I have so many of the same feelings about my art practice. As for finding inspiration only from three other people for a week - that would be difficult! If that were my only choice, I think I'd go to the library and check out three different books by different authors and spend the week slowly perusing them. Perhaps one about art, one about sewing, and one about gardening - all with lots of pictures. Now I want to head to the library!
ReplyDeleteYou are making me want to head to the library too! It's a great idea to use books to inspire yourself.
DeleteI love this post. I recently deleted my art Instagram account because I found myself worrying about not posting enough and approaching every project with the idea that it had to look good because I was going to share it. And like you, I spent a lot of time scrolling to get "inspired." I was hardly making any art of my own. I'm not quite there yet, but I am finding more freedom in artmaking. I love your approach.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah. It took me awhile to get into this process. You will get there though. I'm creating more original work than I ever have. I can't wait to see what you create.
DeleteIt sounds like you're in a good place with your art makimg.
ReplyDeleteI am Dana. How is it going for you these days?
DeleteHi Laura. I think it can be really challenging to find the 'right' balance for oneself - in the Art world 'success' has always tended to be measured in terms of numbers of exhibitions, sales, etc - and now, with social media, by numbers of 'followers' and 'likes' as well. It's hard to resist the lure of external validation in some form or another, or to practice in a vacuum. It sounds as though you've found what works for you though - a really positive postition to be in!
ReplyDeleteIt's such a fine line we walk. Of what to share and what not to share. I love Sandi's YouTube videos, too, but I don't want to paint like her, either. I've been unplugging more and more. My inspiration comes mostly from the garden (indoor garden in the winter) and nature. Like Michelle, I'm always going to the library and find inspiration in books, too. I have a gorgeous book checked out right now called The Photo Ark and it's making me want to play with some animal paintings in my sketchbook -- for no other reason that the pure joy of it!
ReplyDeleteLovely, heartfelt post! My creativity bloomed as I started asking this question whenever frustrated: "Just who are you trying to impress?" When I quit trying to impress, I was free to try more experiments with the simple pleasure and fun of making.
ReplyDeleteI've been pulling back from social media. I do think I can get so sucked into it that time is gone and I've created nothing. Just recently I am giving myself a challenge of 100 days of watercolor botanicals on postcards. Not to do anything with them so much as to make me create. And create what feels my soul. I will be posting them but just to make me commit to painting and taking photos of them and seeing how they look.
ReplyDeleteI like your online art date. How did you start that? I think I want to do that also. It will keep us creating.
Thank you again for your blog. I am always looking for the new post. ❤️
Thank you for writing this. I'm still working full time, but would like to be the creative person I used to be. I kept telling myself the research is important. But hours of (addictive) scrolling isn't making more me creative! Now I know what I should do! Thank you
ReplyDeleteOur Friday dates mean the world to me! You are always inspiring me creatively, but the friendship, mentorship and support that I experience in our meetups is so meaningful. I treasure our time together on Friday mornings - it is a highlight I look forward to every week!
ReplyDelete