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Finding Your Purpose in Midlife

Finding Purpose in Midlife
For the past few years, I have been struggling to figure out what I am going to do with the next stage of my life. I closed my business, and my daughter will be leaving for college in a year and a half. A new season of my life is dawning and I am feeling lost.

The last time I felt like this was when my daughter was a toddler. I was winding down my career as a business consultant, looking for ways to live that allowed me to be the primary caregiver for my daughter and still feel fulfilled. It was an uncomfortable time, and I spent the first two years of her life flailing around, trying to find my purpose.

The thing that saved me, that set my life back on track all those years ago, was reading The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I worked through the twelve-week program and came out of it an artist. It is fair to say that it completely changed my life and served me well for a good fifteen years.

Now here I am again, feeling another momentous change is on the horizon and I am unsure of what is next for me. I have been sitting in this discomfort for a few years and finally realized the answers were in the same place I looked last time-in Julia Cameron’s writings.

I recently discovered that she has a book called It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again , written just for this stage in my life. Many of the exercises in it are like the ones in The Artist’s Way, but there is less work in reconnecting to your creativity and more about figuring out what’s next as you age and your responsibilities change.

It is a twelve-week program. There are morning pages, artist’s dates, and solitary walks as the basic tools to help you prepare your mind for the work ahead. There is an added addition to the process, that Julia calls “Memoir”, where you look at all the years of your life over the course of the program, and there are questions and tasks each week to work through some sticking points.

I have to say that I am only in the first week and I already feel a sense of relief. If nothing else, I now have “work” to do each day. I am planning artist’s dates. I am planning walks. I work on the written exercises. I have a sense of purpose for the next twelve weeks at least. I trust that the work I do, will bring clarity to the next chapter in my life. 

Tell Me What You Think

If you are in the same boat as I am, what are you doing to figure out who you will be in the next stage of your life? I would love to get your suggestions for tools that you have used to find meaning and purpose in your work and life.

Explore More

  • My friend, Lori Roberts of Little Truths Studio, has an e-course all about exploring midlife through journaling. You can sign-up for The Unfolding here.
  • I recently re-watched the documentary, Advanced Style (Amazon Prime), and was inspired by not only the fashion sense of the women featured but also their philosophies on life.
  • My Kitchen Year by Ruth Reichl is a great memoir/cookbook about Ruth's search for purpose when Gourmet Magazine folded and she lost her job as editor.
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Comments

  1. Dana BarbieriApril 6, 2022 at 5:04 AM

    I'm right there with you Laura. For me I'm feeling a lot of grief over the whole letting go process. I loved having young kids and now it feels like the best days of life are behind me.

    It took me some time to adjust after having my son and now it just feels so hard to imagine the next stage of motherhood and life as middle aged woman even though I know it's neccessary.

    Thanks for sharing that book. I will look into it. I hope it continues to help you navigate this stage.

    Sending hugs.

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    1. Laura BrayApril 6, 2022 at 2:00 PM

      Dana, I know what you are going through-I think you will find the book helpful. You can always reach out to me if you want to talk. You are so creative! I know you will find your way! We did it once before, when we had kids-we can do it again!

      Delete
    2. Dana BarbieriApril 9, 2022 at 6:37 AM

      Thank you Laura. I'm remaining hopeful.

      Delete
  2. MarciaApril 6, 2022 at 8:47 AM

    Thanks for the tips, Laura. I read The Artist's Way several years ago and it was a game changer. I will check out the Never Too Late book. Although I am clearly more at the end of my life than at the beginning, I find every day brings more questions (which I consider a good thing) so a new book will be great to answer some of them. Hugs.

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    1. Laura BrayApril 6, 2022 at 2:01 PM

      The book is great. I'm finding out so much about myself and am fascinated by how much I have changed since I did The Artist's Way. Even my inner critic has a new face!

      Delete
  3. C. Jane ReidApril 6, 2022 at 8:53 AM

    You know I am going through the same struggles. Thanks to you, I am finding more purpose in trying to create a more sustainable consistency in my writing. I more able to make writing a priority now that the kids are older. I am glad that I do have this career focus, it's just that now I need to learn how to focus on my career. See what I did there.

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    1. Laura BrayApril 6, 2022 at 2:02 PM

      I'm so glad we are on this journey together Carissa! I treasure our weekly writing sessions.

      Delete
  4. MG Doodle StudioApril 6, 2022 at 12:23 PM

    This sounds like an excellent book. I'll have to check it out!

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  5. SueApril 6, 2022 at 2:48 PM

    Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll check it out. It would be nice to have a plan for life, but it seems that my experience is more along the lines of "Man plans and God laughs." On a daily basis, though, I could definitely use more focus. However, when I look back, say 5 years to where I am now, I'll think, "Man, I could have never planned this," and usually, the random stuff that's happened isn't so bad. Sometimes, it's almost magical.
    Admittedly, my fiddle-dee-dee attitude would likely make others bonkers. But, isn't that what makes life interesting? Our differences.

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    Replies
    1. Laura BrayApril 6, 2022 at 3:02 PM

      I completely agree Sue-planning your life can be an exercise in futility but the book is helping me discover new ways to be creative and have fun while I let life roll over me. :)

      Delete
  6. Aleta JacobsonApril 6, 2022 at 3:31 PM

    You hit the nail on the head. I've been swimming along for awhile. There were glitches and some issues with my business but it ran pretty good. You know I've been cutting back with my teaching. I had a health issue last week and canceled my students (down to only 4). Today I got a text from one of the mom's saying her daughter couldn't make the lesson. Then the other student "ghosted" me.
    I feel relieved. I don't know what I'll do when all of the students leave. I do feel a bit like I'm a fish that's been hooked and reeled in and flopping around in the boat. I need a life preserver.
    And here you are! Thank you for all your advice and the book recommendations. I can't offer any ideas as I'm in the same boat as you for now. But I'm sure I will find something in these books.
    Thank you again. Good luck to you and all your readers also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura BrayApril 7, 2022 at 9:52 AM

      Such kind words Aleta. You made my day. I hope the book helps you find some answers.

      Delete
    2. UnknownApril 12, 2022 at 11:16 AM

      I just went through this over the past 5 years. With COVID, I realized I was grasping for relevance and meaning where there was none. I had pretty much retired because of life situation, and financially able to not work. I did a heart analysis and realized my adult children really needed me. I had a new grandson I wanted to be close to. They needed a babysitter, so I quit my career development activities, sold our house and moved. I now babysit him full time and love that he knows and loves to be with me.
      So many hard choices, but it's also allowed me to get back in touch with my creative self.
      Thanks for sharing!

      Delete
  7. Kari June 15, 2022 at 2:44 PM

    I'm so happy to have found you today. Julia's books have also impacted my life. I was in a similar situation to you a few years back. I was engrossed with my children's lives, and as they grew up, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.   I knew I didn't want to give up writing. I also wanted to stop worrying about what other people thought about my writing not earning me money. In that regard, Julia saved my soul.


    My "soul homework," as I dubbed it, also led me to what I am now gradually cultivating for myself outside of my blog: becoming a life coach. I hate the way it sounds, so I want to come up with a different word. But I'm focusing my efforts on women in menopause since I believe this demographic is underserved. So many of us reach this stage and wonder, "What now?"

      I mentioned the soul homework not to promote anything, but to encourage you to look into the books listed at the top of my blog under that tag. Many of these helped me immensely on this journey, and I want to share them with others as well. I also know Julia has other books that I haven't read yet. I've heard that Vein of Gold is also good. 

    I'm off to check out the links you suggested. Sending you love.
    Xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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