Skip to main content

Behind the Hoop: My Grandfather's WWII Army Jacket

 

embroidery with a felt army jacket
Today’s story is about my maternal grandfather’s army jacket from World War II. It used to hang in my grandparent’s basement, in a cedar-lined closet. I remember opening that closet door sometimes, where all the winter coats were stored and taking deep gulping breaths of the smell of cedar, old wool, and cigar smoke. The smell of my grandfather.

At some point in time, he gave me the army jacket. I don’t know how that happened-how it was given to me. I do remember having it in my closet when I was teenager and remembering a vague story of grandfather telling me he was wearing the jacket the day he saw Mussolini hanging in a piazza in Milan. He would have only been in his late teens as he went to war when he was quite young. I have no idea if I really heard that story. I imagine something was said as I don’t remember hearing the details of the death in school.

Gruesome historical context aside, my grandfather’s army jacket brings back strong high school memories for me. In my sophomore year of high school, I decided the jacket was a unique fashion statement and began wearing it as a coat on the cool, fall nights in Southern California. I especially remember wearing it to high school football games and to the dances afterwards.

After the game, we would line up outside the gym and wait to be let into the school dance. There was always an air of excitement-the smell of hormones, Obsession, and Drakkar Noir floating along the line of high school students. The anticipation of dancing and flirting and experimenting with time away from the watchful eye of our parents. I would snuggle into my grandfather’s army jacket, filled with both excitement and terror. Worrying that I would be end up a wallflower. Somehow it always felt like my grandfather was hugging me, protecting me. It was my security blanket for my teen years. The thought also wasn’t lost on me that my grandfather wore the jacket when he was only a few years older than me and worried about staying alive, not who he would ask to dance. It put my worries in perspective.

I was wearing my grandfather’s army jacket the night I was standing in line with my first real boyfriend and his best friend. The three of us did everything together. We spent many afternoons afterschool, at Rhino Records, pouring over albums. The boys loved Depeche Mode, ABC, and Soft Cell and introduced me to the music that would become the soundtrack of my teens. We would spend hours looking for 12” recordings of our favorite songs.

On this night, as we stood in line for the school dance, my boyfriend’s best friend got down on his knee front of me and sang All of My Heart. He was a very tall 6’3” to my 5’1” and it was a joke that we were same height when he was on his knees. He got up, laughing it off too.

A few months later, my boyfriend and I broke-up and his best friend moved in within hours and asked me to the Christmas formal. He later admitted that, the night he sang to me, he was really trying to tell me he had a crush on me. Why I didn’t figure that out at the time is beyond me, especially if you listen to the lyrics. That boy was my first real love. We dated for nine months and separated amicably.

I still have the army jacket. It hangs in the back of my closet. Somehow, I think it still smells of my grandfather mixed with perfume. I doubt it really does. I think it likely smells like old wool and my brain just inserts the layered scent memories for me. The memories of my beloved grandfather and my first love. A jacket that went from seeing the horrors of war to the innocence of young love. A jacket I will allow my daughter to wear one day in the hopes that she is wearing it the night a boy, shyly, speaks of love to her. 

_______________________________________________________

This story is part of my "Behind the Hoop" series, a collection of textile artwork I created with the stories that inspired the work.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tuesdays are for Writing

I was thinking about how much I enjoy reading about other people’s days. Do you? I hope so, because I’m going to share some of my days with you over the next few weeks. We’ll start with Tuesdays since they are my favorite day of the week. I set Tuesdays aside to write most of the day. No loads of laundry. No errands. Morning The day starts like all my days lately. I wake up at 7:00am. My husband brings me a coffee in bed while a journal for 30 minutes. I recently started setting a timer for my morning journaling because I could spend hours going round and round on the page, ruminating. By setting a timer, I get what I need to release out, but don’t circle down the drain. After that, I get up and immediately go and exercise for 20 minutes. Right now, I’m loving Pahla B’s workouts. They are quick and meant to be for 50+ women. After the workout, I do a 10-minute mediation and am ready to start to my day. I dress and shower and then head to breakfast. Breakfast is the only meal I...

The Sugar Thief

I should have known Stacy was going to be trouble the day I watched in horror as she sprinkled sugar onto her bowl of macaroni and cheese. Anyone with that much of a sweet tooth should not have been allowed within fifty feet of one’s sugar collection. I've moved to Substack. To finish reading this personal essay, click here .

How to Stay Friends without Social Media

How do you stay in touch with people once you leave social media? This one of the main concerns I hear from people when they find out that I’ve quit social media. To be truthful, you will fall out of touch with some people. But you know, that’s not always a bad thing. At least it wasn’t for me. According to anthropologist Robin Dunbar, the number of people humans can sustain relationships with is 150. He based this number (called Dunbar’s Number ) on the size of the human brain. The thesis is that primates are wired to be in group sizes that will assist with survival. While there are arguments about the validity of this theory, I know I feel stressed-out when I have too many relationships going on and not enough time to nurture them.   Being a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend is very important to me. It brings me joy to take care of the people I love. I cook for them, check-in on them regularly, and give them my focused attention when I am with them. But I mus...

What Lies Beneath

  Since I last wrote about my garden , a lot has happened. And a lot hasn’t happened. We went from a wet spring to a few sparse weeks of beautiful summer weather, and then roared into blistering heat. My garden, unable to contend with Mother Nature’s mood swings, had suffered. Between heat waves, I would wander into my garden and, instead of looking to see what was growing, I looked for destruction. Which crop failed this week? The beds, usually lush and beautiful, have big bare spots where the vegetables failed to grow. Our potato plants, which seemed to be the only crop that survived the wet spring, had dried and brown foliage, leaving me to wonder if my Irish blood somehow invited blight. While the garden withered so did we. Heat, illness, and general malaise made us wither almost as much as our garden. In the midst of this ennui, my husband and I trudged out to face our wilting, seemingly dead garden, ready to pull the dead plants, and to grieve over the failed plot. ...

Leaving Social Media

I took my first social media detox in November 2018. I decided to take a break for 30 days. It felt amazing and I learned a lot about myself and my use of social media. I returned to social media, as planned, determined to take the lessons I learned from the detox to mindfully interact with Facebook and Instagram. I had the very best intentions. By May 2019, all my good intentions were forgotten and I found I was back to a place where social media was affecting me negatively . I promised myself that I would get back on track. (You know where this is going, right?) Before long, I was back to what I perceived as an unhealthy relationship with Instagram and Facebook. Something needed to change. The pandemic hit. I used it as an excuse to stay 'connected'. Instead of feeling connected, I watched in horror as people tore each other apart online, saying things they would never to say to one another if they were face to face.  In September 2020, I deleted my business page and told my...

Sketchbook Musings

       I sometimes wonder what my grandchildren will think if they flip through my sketchbooks?       When they pick-up my Botanical Wonder Sketchbook will they see that I was an avid gardener, deeply in love with nature? Will they marvel at my account of almanac-like posts and see a personal account of climate change?      When they flip through my Recipe Sketchbooks, they will see the Ambrosia recipe I wrote down and illustrated, based on my great-grandmother's recipe. Will they be inspired by notes on our family tradition Taco Nights? Or maybe they will already have Taco Nights and realize where the tradition started.      When they look at my Artist Sketchbooks, they will see that I designed a line of rubber stamps, based on my love of tea and gardens, and notes for some of my embroidery designs. Will they be inspired to learn how to embroider or explore their own creativity?      When they look at...

The Aging Inner Critic

  A funny thing happened over the past decade. My inner critic got old. The last time I really looked at my inner critic, about fifteen years ago, she looked like the identical twin of my high school art teacher. The one who told me that I didn’t have any artistic talent, thus crushing my dreams of becoming a fashion designer. But I looked my inner critic up the other day and discovered that witch got old! She no longer appears as my high school art teacher but is a completely new character running around in my head messing with me. She tells me her name is Maude and she’s an old woman of the most crotchety type. Her skin is creped and full of wrinkles, her hair is gray, she is short (like me) and thin (not like me, which, She points out, is because I over-indulge and She doesn’t). She smells of camphor liniment and the peppermint candies she clicks against her teeth whenever someone (me) says or does something that She doesn’t think is “appropriate”. Tsk. She wears sag...

This is a Dress

  This is a dress that was bought in a 1980s, Gunne Sax outlet that was tucked into a rundown strip mall in downtown Montclair, California. A store where the dressing room was one, big open room and my 15-year-old self thought she might die of embarrassment undressing in front of other women. This is a dress that was worn to one or two of the six formals I went to in high school. On the arm of boys named Tom and Jeff. Boys I dreamed of making a life with one day. Boys I am so glad I didn’t marry. Boys that were kind and handsome and sometimes thoughtless and hurtful. Boys that put up with the same from me. This is a dress that danced to the music of The Cure and Depeche Mode . In gyms that reeked of sweat, hormones, Obsession perfume, and Polo cologne. A dress that rustled when I walked and felt smooth under the tentative hands of teenage boys as they held me during slow dances. A dress that made my girlfriends squeal in delight, as I did the same for them and their dresses. ...

Using Photos as Writing Prompts

I was going to throw this photo away. I've been on a mission to cull my personal photo collection and this one was a candidate for the trash bin. One of the criteria for keeping a photograph is whether it will have any meaning to future generations and the cropped head of my mother in this photo would make it impossible for anyone else to identify the subject. But as I looked at the photo, mulling over it's fate, I began to notice that it contained multitudes of information about my childhood and sparked memories that I would one day want to write about. The trick was to sit with the photo long enough and focus not only on the person in the photo, but also the location. Once I began this process, I found I couldn't wait to get to my writing prompt notebook and start writing. Of course, this my childhood photo and, as a writer who is focusing on the memoir genre, it is loaded with topics for future essays but even a fiction writer could find inspiration through this process ...

Curiosity and Experimentation in a Writing Practice

  Experimentation is a big part of my life. When I work on my visual art, I always strive to find new techniques to improve my work and make it more interesting. When I cook, I try new recipes, tweak old ones, and use new ingredients. The list of experiments goes on and on. Now I try to bring that same air of curiosity to my writing practice. My Writing History When I first started writing, many years ago (before computers! gasp!) I wrote my first drafts in longhand, in journals then they would get typed up. Eventually, I moved to a word processor, which allowed for some editing on screens but I usually stuck to handwriting to start. Computers came along and it took me awhile to write directly into a Word document. I think I finally crossed over into writing my drafts electronically around the time my blogging began in earnest. But now, as I’ve begun my journey to take my writing more seriously, and am working on writing an actual book, I’ve found that I have gone back to h...