A Slow Holiday Season

It is Christmastime at our house. We have pulled our trees and ornaments out of storage just in time for the darkest days of the year. It is an unusually wet season (even by Pacific Northwest standards) and most days it seems the sky is under a large piece of dark gray flannel. The sparkling fairy lights strewn over the mantel and the lights of the tree illuminate the house in a way that lamps cannot.

The light fades just as I leave to pick-up my daughter from school. Before I go, I walk through the house, lighting the trees and all the fairy lights. It is a small, festive way to welcome her home from a wet day out in the world.

When we get home, I make a simple snack. Apples and peanut butter, cheese and crackers, or, for a special treat, hot cocoa and popcorn. We sometimes turn on the gas fireplace. 

We settle under quilts my mother-in-law made and watch Dash and Lily on Netflix. It is our second year watching it. We greedily look at the dreamy holiday interiors.The holiday soundtrack is perfect. It is less about the story (though it is cute) and more about the sets and costumes. I once dreamed of taking my daughter to see NYC during the holidays. The thought of traveling during these pandemic days makes me wonder if that will ever happen. For now, we revel in the magic of New York city at Christmastime via this show.

This after school time is a liminal space in which rest. A pause between the end of a work and school day, before homework, chores, and cooking begin.

We are taking this holiday slowly. We are not out of a pandemic and we seem more resolved to gracefully bear a quieter Christmas. There will be no travel to see family and parties will be whittled down to a few gatherings with people in our safe bubble. I'm not sure if this new, slower, pace is due to acceptance or exhaustion. Nonetheless, I am embracing it.

I am hibernating, I think, more than savoring. The past few years have exhausted me with worry. It is not a depression. Simply the realization that it is the perfect time to pull inward. Take more naps, eat more soup, celebrate the season in small, meaningful ways. I find we are all curating the most important traditions and leaving the rest of the hustle and bustle of the holidays out.

I wonder. Will we ever go back to the way it was "before"? Will these lessons to slow down stay with us or will we forget the lessons this pandemic has brought us? But those are thoughts for another day. For now, I am enjoying this slower pace.

Wishing you great tidings of comfort & joy. Let me know how you are doing during this holiday season.