Skip to main content

Reading and Writing Memoir

Breakfast Teapot

 "If you read good books, when you write, good books will come out of you."

 -Natalie Goldberg

This is my year of memoir. Not only getting serious about writing it, but also reading it. When I look over my reading journal, it tells me that so far, I've read ten books from the genre. 

I tend to read memoir over breakfast. My husband drives my daughter to school and it is one of the only times during these pandemic days that I am home alone. I set a place at my large, wooden farm table; a cup of tea (almost always English Breakfast with milk and sugar) and cinnamon toast (almost always with homemade bread and creamy, salty Irish butter).

I keep a stack of memoirs on the far corner of the table, they are easy to reach for in the morning. I know, if I have to go searching for the book, I won't read it.

As I have become more and more interested in writing memoir, my book choices widen. I find myself looking for different writing styles and book structures. Some I have hated, some I have loved. I make mental notes for my own future book structure.

In the Dream House by Carmen Machado made me rethink structure. The book is an ode to fragmentation and the techniques of the Oulipo. In her disturbing memoir, Machado tells us, "telling stories in just one way misses the point of stories". I found the reading experience unfamiliar and uncomfortable, yet it perfectly illustrated Machado's story of an abusive relationship.

As much as In the Dream House's structure, made me uneasy, Textbook by Amy Krouse Rosenthal, delighted me. Her literal connection with the reader, through requests for you to actually text her, made me feel as though she was a friend, someone who I wanted in my life. She so successfully mastered that connection that, when I discovered that she had died in 2017 at the tender age of 51 (the same age I am as I write this), I cried.

And speaking of crying...Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner, taught me the importance of telling your story around a tight theme. Her memoir is a grief memoir, centered around the illness and death of her mother and how Zauner healed by connecting with Korean-American heritage through food. Her style of storytelling was the embodiment of Marion Roach's memoir writing advice telling us that a memoir writer must always remember that "every page must drive one single story forward". In the case of this book, Zauner's single story is about grief and healing and it inspired me to find my one single story to tell.

What have you been reading lately that inspires you? I'd love to hear about a book (memoir or not) that inspired you to explore your creative practice differently. 

 



Comments

  1. I admire so much your dedication to reading and writing memoir. I am always impressed by memoir writers. It feels like such a delicate form of expression, both in how exposed it makes the writer to their true self and how it impresses upon the reader to expose their true self.

    As for me I've been reading a great deal of history based on Britain's War of the Roses. I just finished a book on the Woodvilles, a prominent family during that time period who are usually vilified. This author, however, wrote a very solid and well researched history that takes them out of the realm of villain and puts them in perspective to what is happening around them.

    This of course has gotten me reading my Shakespeare again. I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed the Tragedy of Richard II and Henry IV, but has also made me realize how very much I dislike Henry V.

    One day I might try to write a story set during that time period, but I hardly feel capable of doing so currently.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I listen to audiobooks while I sew. I feel a little of the book's energy, as well as mine, goes into the project. So I tend to listen to sassy, lighthearted books when stitching for a great niece (Janet Evanovich). Or, a murder mystery for a computer programmer nephew (M.C. Beaton). I used to enjoy Russian novels & still have many paperbacks (all I could afford) on my shelves . They haven't been opened in years. Maybe it's time to see what they inspire!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Tuesdays are for Writing

I was thinking about how much I enjoy reading about other people’s days. Do you? I hope so, because I’m going to share some of my days with you over the next few weeks. We’ll start with Tuesdays since they are my favorite day of the week. I set Tuesdays aside to write most of the day. No loads of laundry. No errands. Morning The day starts like all my days lately. I wake up at 7:00am. My husband brings me a coffee in bed while a journal for 30 minutes. I recently started setting a timer for my morning journaling because I could spend hours going round and round on the page, ruminating. By setting a timer, I get what I need to release out, but don’t circle down the drain. After that, I get up and immediately go and exercise for 20 minutes. Right now, I’m loving Pahla B’s workouts. They are quick and meant to be for 50+ women. After the workout, I do a 10-minute mediation and am ready to start to my day. I dress and shower and then head to breakfast. Breakfast is the only meal I...

The Sugar Thief

I should have known Stacy was going to be trouble the day I watched in horror as she sprinkled sugar onto her bowl of macaroni and cheese. Anyone with that much of a sweet tooth should not have been allowed within fifty feet of one’s sugar collection. I've moved to Substack. To finish reading this personal essay, click here .

How to Stay Friends without Social Media

How do you stay in touch with people once you leave social media? This one of the main concerns I hear from people when they find out that I’ve quit social media. To be truthful, you will fall out of touch with some people. But you know, that’s not always a bad thing. At least it wasn’t for me. According to anthropologist Robin Dunbar, the number of people humans can sustain relationships with is 150. He based this number (called Dunbar’s Number ) on the size of the human brain. The thesis is that primates are wired to be in group sizes that will assist with survival. While there are arguments about the validity of this theory, I know I feel stressed-out when I have too many relationships going on and not enough time to nurture them.   Being a good wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend is very important to me. It brings me joy to take care of the people I love. I cook for them, check-in on them regularly, and give them my focused attention when I am with them. But I mus...

What Lies Beneath

  Since I last wrote about my garden , a lot has happened. And a lot hasn’t happened. We went from a wet spring to a few sparse weeks of beautiful summer weather, and then roared into blistering heat. My garden, unable to contend with Mother Nature’s mood swings, had suffered. Between heat waves, I would wander into my garden and, instead of looking to see what was growing, I looked for destruction. Which crop failed this week? The beds, usually lush and beautiful, have big bare spots where the vegetables failed to grow. Our potato plants, which seemed to be the only crop that survived the wet spring, had dried and brown foliage, leaving me to wonder if my Irish blood somehow invited blight. While the garden withered so did we. Heat, illness, and general malaise made us wither almost as much as our garden. In the midst of this ennui, my husband and I trudged out to face our wilting, seemingly dead garden, ready to pull the dead plants, and to grieve over the failed plot. ...

Sketchbook Musings

       I sometimes wonder what my grandchildren will think if they flip through my sketchbooks?       When they pick-up my Botanical Wonder Sketchbook will they see that I was an avid gardener, deeply in love with nature? Will they marvel at my account of almanac-like posts and see a personal account of climate change?      When they flip through my Recipe Sketchbooks, they will see the Ambrosia recipe I wrote down and illustrated, based on my great-grandmother's recipe. Will they be inspired by notes on our family tradition Taco Nights? Or maybe they will already have Taco Nights and realize where the tradition started.      When they look at my Artist Sketchbooks, they will see that I designed a line of rubber stamps, based on my love of tea and gardens, and notes for some of my embroidery designs. Will they be inspired to learn how to embroider or explore their own creativity?      When they look at...

Leaving Social Media

I took my first social media detox in November 2018. I decided to take a break for 30 days. It felt amazing and I learned a lot about myself and my use of social media. I returned to social media, as planned, determined to take the lessons I learned from the detox to mindfully interact with Facebook and Instagram. I had the very best intentions. By May 2019, all my good intentions were forgotten and I found I was back to a place where social media was affecting me negatively . I promised myself that I would get back on track. (You know where this is going, right?) Before long, I was back to what I perceived as an unhealthy relationship with Instagram and Facebook. Something needed to change. The pandemic hit. I used it as an excuse to stay 'connected'. Instead of feeling connected, I watched in horror as people tore each other apart online, saying things they would never to say to one another if they were face to face.  In September 2020, I deleted my business page and told my...

This is a Dress

  This is a dress that was bought in a 1980s, Gunne Sax outlet that was tucked into a rundown strip mall in downtown Montclair, California. A store where the dressing room was one, big open room and my 15-year-old self thought she might die of embarrassment undressing in front of other women. This is a dress that was worn to one or two of the six formals I went to in high school. On the arm of boys named Tom and Jeff. Boys I dreamed of making a life with one day. Boys I am so glad I didn’t marry. Boys that were kind and handsome and sometimes thoughtless and hurtful. Boys that put up with the same from me. This is a dress that danced to the music of The Cure and Depeche Mode . In gyms that reeked of sweat, hormones, Obsession perfume, and Polo cologne. A dress that rustled when I walked and felt smooth under the tentative hands of teenage boys as they held me during slow dances. A dress that made my girlfriends squeal in delight, as I did the same for them and their dresses. ...

The Aging Inner Critic

  A funny thing happened over the past decade. My inner critic got old. The last time I really looked at my inner critic, about fifteen years ago, she looked like the identical twin of my high school art teacher. The one who told me that I didn’t have any artistic talent, thus crushing my dreams of becoming a fashion designer. But I looked my inner critic up the other day and discovered that witch got old! She no longer appears as my high school art teacher but is a completely new character running around in my head messing with me. She tells me her name is Maude and she’s an old woman of the most crotchety type. Her skin is creped and full of wrinkles, her hair is gray, she is short (like me) and thin (not like me, which, She points out, is because I over-indulge and She doesn’t). She smells of camphor liniment and the peppermint candies she clicks against her teeth whenever someone (me) says or does something that She doesn’t think is “appropriate”. Tsk. She wears sag...

Curiosity and Experimentation in a Writing Practice

  Experimentation is a big part of my life. When I work on my visual art, I always strive to find new techniques to improve my work and make it more interesting. When I cook, I try new recipes, tweak old ones, and use new ingredients. The list of experiments goes on and on. Now I try to bring that same air of curiosity to my writing practice. My Writing History When I first started writing, many years ago (before computers! gasp!) I wrote my first drafts in longhand, in journals then they would get typed up. Eventually, I moved to a word processor, which allowed for some editing on screens but I usually stuck to handwriting to start. Computers came along and it took me awhile to write directly into a Word document. I think I finally crossed over into writing my drafts electronically around the time my blogging began in earnest. But now, as I’ve begun my journey to take my writing more seriously, and am working on writing an actual book, I’ve found that I have gone back to h...

What I haven't told you

  I told you how I started making art, when a surprise pregnancy, at the height of my business career, propelled me into an identity crisis and I went in search of who I really was. I worked through The Artists Way , discovered a love of art in my past and built a new identity around that. I hung that idea high and called it my North Star. The stories I told around that idea supported it. I talked of my love of art and how my wicked art teacher took that dream, stomped on it, and sent me fleeing into the business world. But that is not the whole story. I didn’t leave out parts of my story to lie, I just brushed past them to connect with my creativity. I didn’t tell you about the literature classes I was taking in high school. Beloved teachers taught my literature classes and they opened the world of literary criticism for me. They most decidedly were not like my wicked art teacher, they supported and encouraged me. I didn’t tell you there were always stacks of books piled up ...